by Bear Jack Gebhardt on February 15, 2010
Was recently asked to write a little piece for our local Seniors Magazine. Thought it might fit here. Hope you enjoy--- Bear
As seniors many of us start to realize that life isn’t just all about money. But if life isn’t just about money, what is it about? Where does money fit into the wider context of our lives?
The Dali Lama said, “The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” Seems like a wise insight. On the other hand, scriptures would suggest that the purpose of our lives is to “Love God with all our heart, and soul and mind, and to love our neighbors as ourselves.” Likewise a wise idea.
Again, as seniors many of us have come to see that these two ideas are not mutually exclusive or contradictory. We’ve learned that if we aren’t happy with ourselves, and with the day and with the people around us, then we probably aren’t honoring the creator, or life or the people around us.
Back to money. In light of the above insights, it would seem that the purpose of money, then, would be to help us be happy. The purpose of money would be to help us love life, ours and our neighbors. So okay, what does that look like?
Sure, a cruise to Fiji might help us love life a little more, or putting a new wing on the house, or paying off the kids’ mortgages. These are a few things that money can buy. But let’s just deal with the money itself, and more particularly with the money coming in and the money going out, here today. Can we be happy with that?
Our culture encourages us to complain about money--- the high cost of living, the waste of government spending, the paucity of our retirement accounts. Such complaining is fine if we can be happy while we are complaining, if we can love life and our neighbor while complaining. Most of us are not that skilled.
So here’s our challenge: can we be happy with all of the money that is coming in, and be happy with all of the money going out? If we aren’t happy with the coming in and going out of money, might we be unconsciously disrespecting life, disrespecting the creator?
We’ve all been in that situation where we get a check, or payment for something and are not happy with it; we act disappointed. “Ah shucks, is that all?” In relationship to money, that’s a bit like knocking on a friend’s door and when she opens it her response is disappointment. “Oh, you again?” With such a response, we aren’t going to knock on that door much more. Does money feel the same way? If we aren’t happy with the money coming in--- if we complain and grumble about the checks we receive, does it make our money future less promising?
And with money going out. We’ve all gone through the drive-through and when the bill comes we think, what? That much for a small bag of fries? Again, our challenge is to be happy with the money coming in and the money going out. We can train ourselves to be happy to give our money for these freedom potatoes.
Same thing happens when the utility bill comes in. “Oh yikes! “ So how can we be happy to pay the utility bill? We can put it into context. I’d rather pay these folks than pay some kid to bring water up from the river, or to chop more wood to keep the fire going all night long.
Here’s our challenge: to enjoy all the money coming in and all the money going out, regardless of whether the money is a little or a lot. If we aren’t happy with the money coming in and going out, we aren’t happy with our lives. It has little to do with the amount coming in and going out. As Benjamin Franklin observed, “Contentment makes a poor men rich; discontentment makes rich men poor.” It is our choice.
The Freedom Exercise:
The Law of Happiness:
1. Enjoying my happiness is the most important thing for me and for everybody else.
The Link:
2. I enjoy my happiness when I enjoy the thoughts I am thinking.
The Question:
3. Whenever necessary, or appropriate, I ask, Am I enjoying this thought, yes or no? If the answer is not an immediate and spontaneous yes, it’s a no.
The Action:
4. If the answer is yes (I’m enjoying my thoughts,) perfect. I’m enjoying my happiness. If the answer is no (I’m not enjoying my thoughts) then, in order to practice my happiness, I have two options:
a. drop the thought(s) I’m not enjoying and find or create a thought I enjoy more;
or
b. choose to enjoy the thought which a moment before I didn’t enjoy.
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The Peace Practice
1. Practicing peace, in every circumstance and every relationship, is the healthiest and most practical thing we can do for ourselves and for everybody around us.
2. We practice peace when we are at peace with the thoughts we are thinking and the stories we are telling.
3. Whenever necessary or appropriate, we simply ask, “Am I at peace with this thought, these stories, yes or no?” If the answer is not an immediate and spontaneous “yes,” then it’s a “no.”
4. If the answer is “yes,” (I am at peace with my thoughts and stories) perfect! (We’re at peace!) If the answer is no, in order to return to our peace, we basically have two options:
a. Drop the thoughts or stories we are not at peace with and find or create thoughts or stories with which we are more at peace; or
b. Choose to be at peace with the thoughts and stories that a moment before we were not at peace.
When we are at peace with our thoughts and stories, we are at peace with ourselves, and at peace with the world!
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